Transient
adjective _ temporary, brief, ephemeral, fleeting, impermanent, momentary, passing, short-lived, transitory.
-from Collins Gem English Thesaurus-

In 10 years time, will I look back and think that my life in London seems like a dream? or will i think back and smile, remembering all the things? Sometimes i really feel like i'm living in 2 different worlds, which is true anyway. I can put mind-barriers to separate between things back home and here. I can even pretend things home do not exist while i'm here, happily 'living' my own life. I don't want to look back when i grew old, and think what did i actualy do when i was here? say..for 7 years in UK..? i want to leave footprints, friends i can come back to and visit..faces i recognise, places i want to remember, people who matters. Otherwise, it will be just like a finished chapter of a book. Finished, done, slese.
In reality, my life here is real..it's not transient. It's real. It exists. The clock keeps ticking and whatever i do did matters.

The reason i start to think abt this was because i was talking to my dad this morning..and i asked him whether our house is finished yet and other house-related stuff, and he mentioned sth abt our maid, and i was like, "huh?" and he was like, "oh u didn't know??". er.. in a way i think i really do missed a lot a lot of family news and stuff nowadays. I haven't spoken to novi for ages, in which i really do will call her. My nephew whom i last saw was a tiny baby, now apparently is already walking. Then ya, just a lot of small little things like that. I'm not really a family person, in a way. i guess i was spoilt though,always get things done my way.. due to the fact that im the only child. but i think i'm a good child overall..hm. oh well, i know it can't be helped anyway..but nowadays, i'm just putting off things which i should do sooner. Whatever happened to the old me who used to finished things..like wayyy longgg before the deadline? i wish that old me came back soon, otherwise im kinda screwed. kinda. not in a huge proportion of screwed-up-ness i hope.

Hmm..
staying up late at night after work..too tired to do anything productive, makes me think of a lot of things. which actually makes me unable to sleep.
I should stop thinking too much.
and just be more productive.