I don't really feel well :(
im never going home with wet clothes after getting soaked in the rain again..thts just stupid...
but today's riding lesson with Todd was sooo goood.. :) we clicked so well. and he was much more lighter in his front end.
i happy.life is good. i love todd.

..and i've been facebook-ing with irma these past hour, and due to the fact that we're literally 5 seconds away from each other in the living room..trying to read journals but failed terribly, so i should call this a day and go to get an early sleep tonight.

A simple touch

Tender, love , and care

Its a pic in Arthayasa, agatha's daughter stroking kamee..long time ago :)

Was reading Faez's blog just now (thx!), its a quote he heard from an old lady he met while he went ski trip..
Nous chassons la richesse quand nous avons la vie,
Nous chassons la vie où nous avons la richesse.

which translates to :
We chase wealth when we have life,
We chase life when we have wealth

how very true indeed.when we're young and full of energy, we want to earn more and more money..work and work and work. then you realise money can't buy you life.

Got a headache now.. surely the result of been sleeping to late since sunday, watching more asian drama series in crunchyroll.com :( i go home early, finish do notes/work before 11ish.. but still slept around 3. i think im slipping back to my horrible sleeping time..need to get more sleep.

Attempts

Wow i'm amazed at myself how motivated suddenly i am today. Went back home from lectures, then went online until now looking at all the different possibilities the 'real' world out there have. I realised there are lots lots lots of things i can do. Lots of interesting companies and what they do. I actually read economics review for this past hour, something i havent done since.. since last time i learn econs in high school maybe. I havent been reading much of whatever happens in the world nowadays, which is bad..i should keep myself updated. Maybe i should just spend this summer happily playing with my horses back home, as this is the last summer i can have fun. In a way. Cos next year (IF i graduated..hope so haha) then have to start looking for jobs/master/rvc(?). Its all still a big big question mark in my mind. I feel a bit lost. Hmm...I met alex last fri, cos he came london to met his dad.. he also said same thing, can have plan..but dont plan too much. Life is full of little surprises right :) maybe.

Indonite for this year..

Males gitu gw ga participate utk taun ini... cuman jadi salah satu istri bareng manda.

Artati's drawing for the poster :)

nice ti.. hehe uda lama ga liat gambar ini sejak di cc..jadi inget yg rencana kita kita utk bikin gambar loe yg ini bwt undangan kawinan xp

Southampton

Yesterday me and ninghan went to Southampton for a day trip.. visiting dear Claire :) 2hr bus ride from Victoria, its not far. We spent the day happily and lazily walking along the high street..window shopping.. had an extremely nice yummy milkshake at this place called 'Shakeaway' where u can have absolutely everything and anything u want as a milkshake! ninghan ordered e one which is mixed oreo/strawberrycheesecake, mine is choc fudge brownie/cheesecake, claire's skittles..so yummy!! Then had lunch at a pub, called Cowherds..its a smoke-free pub, v.cosy inside, food also nice. Went back to Claire's house (yeap, a house, proper house..unlike us the poor souls in London who had to live in flats). Spent the whole afternoon there, played monopoly, talked2 and catching up. Went back, and basically i just slept! until this morning when I went to ride Loki as usual. :)

I admire people who are strong. I was thinking it over yesterday, how angmo's are so different from us, asians. Most of them seem to be very.. able to take things in their stride really well if they are faced with problems (a bit hard to explain..err..). I don't know how they are able to do that, really..cultural difference i guess.

Just when i decided to call home and call om james, i could NOT find my calling card! anywhere. I've turned my room upside down, searched the whole flat. None. Zilch. It couldn't have been gone anywhere. I kept things always at the exact same place...and its so annoying when things get misplaced or lost. Hmm... oh well i'm still going to keep searching. This weekend going to be really packed, full of friends visiting or visiting a friend :) Ajeng came from holland, alex came from Norwich...meeting them tmorrow. Going southampton to visit claire on Sat.. Ride Loki on Sunday. Plus work. Weekdays are really beginning to feel like weekends..and vice versa.

"The things that we love, tell us what we are" -Saint Thomas Aquinas-
I like : horses, books, tea, sea, dogs, sunshine, chocolates, lazy days, swimming.. plus about 1000 other things.
I like finding 'thinkable' quotes. :) Makes me think in a different direction for a few minutes while reading and digesting it.

Shrove Tuesday

I will actually eat finish everything in the fridge if i stayed at home for too long hehe..
Happy that i'm still in the productive, hardworking state today..After doing work for a few hours, went for a long jog..then go back, had shower..Now i'm just lazying on the couch, going online and can smell yummy dinner being cooked by irma. :)
Today is Shrove Tuesday, or pancake day :) Later on tonight going off to Char,jude, mimi's place to eat pancakes! tomorrow is Ash Wednesday..Start of Lent. Wonder what should i do for this year's lent? i tried giving up on chocolates, meat, and sweets already the past few years.. hmm.. ideas.

"Why would most people prefer receiving rather than giving?"

CNY

Pics from yesterday's CNY :)

Every year i actually made a lot of new friends on cny.. funny, cos usually its a family gathering back home..but due to the fact that v.few of my friends here celebrate it, so usually me and syl ended up joining some other friends of hers or mine to celebrate it. Leicester sq was totally packed with ppl yesterday.It was quite festive though. Hmm..oh well now is piggy year! anyway, i am productive tonight! so satisfied of myself hehe.. managed to sat on my desk and did solid work for a few hours with only a few distracted moments. Feels good to achieve what i actually plan for the day :)

Today is a nice, lazy start of the week :)
I'm just happy, feeling very warm and lazy..and relaxed. So nice. I like this kind of feeling. I figure out that the way i deal with people really influences my thoughts and mood.

Transient
adjective _ temporary, brief, ephemeral, fleeting, impermanent, momentary, passing, short-lived, transitory.
-from Collins Gem English Thesaurus-

In 10 years time, will I look back and think that my life in London seems like a dream? or will i think back and smile, remembering all the things? Sometimes i really feel like i'm living in 2 different worlds, which is true anyway. I can put mind-barriers to separate between things back home and here. I can even pretend things home do not exist while i'm here, happily 'living' my own life. I don't want to look back when i grew old, and think what did i actualy do when i was here? say..for 7 years in UK..? i want to leave footprints, friends i can come back to and visit..faces i recognise, places i want to remember, people who matters. Otherwise, it will be just like a finished chapter of a book. Finished, done, slese.
In reality, my life here is real..it's not transient. It's real. It exists. The clock keeps ticking and whatever i do did matters.

The reason i start to think abt this was because i was talking to my dad this morning..and i asked him whether our house is finished yet and other house-related stuff, and he mentioned sth abt our maid, and i was like, "huh?" and he was like, "oh u didn't know??". er.. in a way i think i really do missed a lot a lot of family news and stuff nowadays. I haven't spoken to novi for ages, in which i really do will call her. My nephew whom i last saw was a tiny baby, now apparently is already walking. Then ya, just a lot of small little things like that. I'm not really a family person, in a way. i guess i was spoilt though,always get things done my way.. due to the fact that im the only child. but i think i'm a good child overall..hm. oh well, i know it can't be helped anyway..but nowadays, i'm just putting off things which i should do sooner. Whatever happened to the old me who used to finished things..like wayyy longgg before the deadline? i wish that old me came back soon, otherwise im kinda screwed. kinda. not in a huge proportion of screwed-up-ness i hope.

Hmm..
staying up late at night after work..too tired to do anything productive, makes me think of a lot of things. which actually makes me unable to sleep.
I should stop thinking too much.
and just be more productive.

i've been very very unproductive tonight.
spending 5 hours..took a nap
fiddling with R
argh..not good :(

watched this just now :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9ZvcUjVJRo&mode=related&search=

ok ok i need to get back to do my lab report.. :(

Tesco for Valentine

After stuffing ourselves with countless unagi and california rolls
Us, just being tourists haha..posers

Yeap, these two are the victim of jose's papparazi skills. *evil smile*

Tesco! seriously, the security guy was staring at us as though we're nuts

Cheers for el jomblo valentino!

Finally ends the night in Trafalgar Square for drinks and photo-taking sessions

Today was one of the good valentine's :)

To start with, we had competition in Surrey today..so yeah we started of damn early (7am..) from Lucy's place. Abt 1 hr by car..reach there. Dressage was ok..then disaster came in jumping cos one of their horses were not fit, soo we needed 1 more horse. And the yard staff said the only one they have as reserve was this huge,dark bay cob called Bess who can only jump 2ft max.. which was tiny jumps. but well after a lot of talking and phone calls to BUSA and few stressed team members. we found the solution. Jumping went well..i love my jumping horse, called Spike, grey, very nice rhytm to jump! i love him hehe. Lucy got Bailey, a huge chesnut..which was also cool..Harriet got this really really nice dressage horse called Bella, superb paces. Oh also when lucy almost got eliminated since she didnt wear any gloves for dressage was not fun...and my mismatched chaps. Im really gg to bring my boots from home next time. The dressage judge was a bit unusual, she was very keen to get things her own way..but she's also generous with marks. Which were just kind of contradictory. Oh well.. it was a long day today..we started the competition at 10.30 am and finished around 5pm. Lucy's mini was seriously struggling to go thro all the mud and uneven road..poor mini. Now we also had our own mascot, Phoebe..and our theme song 'lala', which Lucy and Harriet ingeniously invented haha.

Rushed back home..and managed to make it to Gili Gulu just 30 mins late. Ate giligulu..basically had eating competition, girls vs guys. Me manda artati jose pui..vs hank mad wills ritch. We lost as always. Seriously full and satisfied after stuffing ourselves with unagi .. then decided to wander around picadilly trying to find a bar. Went to 3 places : ALL full :( and at this one place, the waiter so damn annoying. he saw us waving at him, trying to order drinks..but he blatantly ignored us. shite. In the end..gave up trying to find a place. We went to Tesco, bought drinks and plastic wine glasses.. and doritos and jaffa cakes. Jose actually decided to take photos of us inside tesco and yeah as the way we Walked to Trafalgar square, sat down on the benches.. and started drinking and eating and taking pictures. Hehee.. it was 6 of us, me manda ti jose hank ritch. All around us are couples kissing, couples with flowers, couples and more couples. argh. I think we annoy them by being loud hehe.. it was funny when we took pics of ti n ritch gyahaha..jose's paparazzi style is damn good. Thx guys u both entertain us tonight :) *wicked grin*. I really enjoyed this year's valentine's day..got to spend it with people that i love the most :)

"Friends accept us as we are. They create our good times, and ease our bad. With them, we can share our joys, upon them we can unload our cares, because of them, our lifes are full."

Just had a very refreshing chat with andris.. he always knows how to distract me when i work too hard haha. funny how i wasn't close to him at all while im still in indo, but now he's one of the few that are still in close contact with me. Some friends i actually grew closer when i'm apart from them. but i cant imagine a life without friends :)
I like today. i came back..eat dinner which pang cooked for me yesterday..(okonomiyaki! now i know how to cook)..went on msn and browse internet mindlessly. Very unproductive, but very relaxing indeed. Now my flat is empty and quiet again. Pang went back to edinburgh today. And tomorrow is Valentine's day. and i'm going to spend it by doing things i love the most..horse riding during the day, then going out with my dear friends at night.
Put a smile on my face :)

Mom and dad are coming :) !!
hehe.. called them just now.
I enjoy talking to them if i feel like talking..thts why i always tell my mom not to call and just to wait for my call hehe. Get all the newest gossip about horsy people back home. Its funny how even tho im not in indo anymore, but my parents are still involved with all the horsy stuff..bcos all of the horsy ppl back home, we're all just like one big family :) Its a small community with lots of gossip and news all the time haha..i miss them.
Riding this morning was good as always..i really wonder how come i never overslept on the tube..i always woke up just in time before my stop. lucky me.
Got work later..argh
Hopefully he didn't make us do a pyramid of snack packs anymore. no no.

I'll find my way

towards the light that's dying to shine through :)

Today is a happy day :)

Pang is here..yay! i love you lots pang hehe

the only thing is..i DON'T like our new 'boss'..omg. After only one hour i already got so so irritated. hmmhh..Really. cos we all already have our own way to work, our own habit..of course cannot just came and then asks us to change our way of working right. Yesterday he was ok, but today dunno why just irritate me SO much! plus he locked the cage during busy hours. soo silly..today customer asked me for the pig toy..then i need to run around find him, cos all toys are in the cage and its LOCKED! (act im just irritated cos it disturbed my usual stocking up routine..). oh well..at least most of my dear colleagues feel the same way xp

Strange and Beautiful

Sometimes, the last thing you want comes in first,

Sometimes, the first thing you want never comes,

And I know, the waiting is all you can do,

Sometimes...

-Strange and Beautiful, Aqualung-

Was reading artati's blog when i came across this..then actually realised that i got this song in my ipod. Do you think there are actually a pre-arranged order for the things that happens to us? God did it, possibly? but no,I believe there are no defined future for anything in this world. None. Nada. Zilch. Zero. why? because everything links :) Events link to one another.. We have to constantly make choices. Its funny in a way..say, if i didn't go to tarq at all..i wouldn't know manda..then i wouldn't be interested in going UK..i wouldn't be here right now in my flat in london at this time. My life here simply wouldn't exist at all. I will still be living in jakarta, going to atmajaya uni most probably. I will be living a completely different life. and i might be a different kind of person.

Choices.
We really can't avoid them, do we?

Me being impressed

Okay updates..

im back! okay i've actually only been away from london for 1day. but oh here goes : Went to Lucy's place to stay yesterday night..and her place was VERY nice! We took off ard 7pm from south ken..4 of us : me lucy harriet naomi. All horse riding stuff helmets boots etc crammed up in her mini. Abt 1 hr ride, her place is somewhere near Windsor/Slough (ok im very bad geographically but i know its southern side of london..i think). Usually i'm not easily impressed, but her place is just so so nice. Picture this : Its like a mini-mansion..with long driveways..trees lined up on both sides. and her horses grazing on the huge grass fields along the driveway. A fountain in front of the house.. then the horse stable behind the house. with huge jumping arena. and super neat, tidy stable.. top quality horses. Fluffy carpets/jacuzzi/pool/super modern house/fruit platter/wine.Its just like my dream house in the future..haha i wish. wow. Her dad also very very nice..he made us breakfast :)

And there are dogs!! three of them..super naughty but cute. maybe i really should get a dog?

So there we slept..i slept for abt 10hrs straight. I think i should live in a countryside, i sleep better. haha. In the morning went to Snowball farm. damn near. It was actually one of the worst competition we had so far. We did ok actually, its just the UCL team manage to did much much better with the horses we had. It was fun tho, Lucy with her camel-like horse..me with my Princess (aka : she HAS to be baby-talked ALL the way thro the jump course, otherwise she will be so nasty and just refused to jump, believe me. she was one of the strangest horse i've ever ridden). Harriet with Dizzy, Naomi with Poo (Poo! yeah..but he was cute..he just crashed to the 1st fence sort of lol). Oh well.. i really do like our team this year :) they're the bestest teammates!

Then i also love my poster group! really do :) they're all cool.

Went home..then found out tt our washing machine..broke down. It flooded irma's room! aiy... :(

Talked with yaya a lot just now.. and really just like irma said, karma do exist tho. I do think it does. What goes around, comes around.

Valentine's day coming :) will spend that day with horses! yay. our last competition this season..so sad. Its so fast, when i think back to 1 yr ago. Hmm.

"Love is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise" -Samuel Johnson-

Pang's also coming on friday! yay..and staying at my place.but a bit sad cos my work hours are damn damn long this weekend. but i really do miss her...and looking fwd to meet her, happy hehe.

okay..going sleep now! now i decided im going to sleep for at least 7 hrs every night! my body needs it, otherwise i'll just break down somewhere sometime in this busy life of mine hehe.

Spring in a state of mind

Pat said,"With the right people and the right mindset, spring can be anyday".
True..true :)
Today is a happy day.
I had a disabled customer, who was one of the most polite and pleasant customer i had ever served. Small little things like this is what i like about working. and living. I feel very content in what i have nowadays, i'm stronger now, in a lot of ways. I have a better view of what i want, and i definitely know what i deserve. You realised it way too late, as you had your chance and you missed it. Tough luck, i ain't going to go down that path anymore. no thanks.
I found myself and i'm happy with me now :)

Hmm..Tomorrow and Wednesday are going to be busy busy day.. i won't be home until Wed night. Looking forward to the sleep over at Lucy's, compete in Snowball on Wed and only God knows how i can make it back in time to London to work for my 6-10 pm shift on Wed night.

My 21st

21st!

My dearly beloved flatmate :)

I truly love my friends.. :) thanks guys.

Usually birthday celebration is the last thing on my mind, but this year at the spur of the moment i decided to celebrate my birthday. And im really really glad that i did. The reason being was that i feel thankful for all my friends and i want to celebrate that. The last time i ever celebrated my birthday was when i was...still in primary school i think, cant even remember it now. Indeed, the 2nd of February this year was a very good day for me. From the lunch treat with meiting :) then the celebration at my flat later on at night. I had really enjoyed it. Its been awhile since we all gather together again. Due to work, i admitted i had been kind of abandon my friends, which i really hated to do so. Most of the people i really cared about were there that night. It was quite funny in the end when irma and i had a bit too much to drink..and i remembered chasing manda and artati around. hehee... :) Then the morning after we went to Shrewsbury (amazingly, i did manage to wake up! thx ninghan and wilson for e wake up call. It was a good trip :) I was very very glad to met Mr.Morris by coincidence when we were sitting in the park. It was such an unexpected surprise, and also he still remembered me. Amazing. He was one of the best ever principal i ever had. I really admired his charisma and spirit to when he was still concord's principal. I was happy to see Heather as well, and all the dogs and horses. Murphy died sadly 3 weeks ago, but Liffey now had a new friend, Voltan. Watching the dogs play around were really enough to entertain me. I forget how quiet it was in the countryside, that night i had one of the best sleep i ever had in these past few weeks. The next morning was frosty and sunny. It was very refreshing indeed. We did not do anything much, because of the fact that there really is nothing to do. Took long walks around shrewsbury, walk to concord as well. The air was so crisp and clean. In concord, some things had changed. Met irma's and sil's sisters.Went to see the new accomodation blocks. Nade still remembered me! also Mr.Lion. I knew my time there had ended a long time ago, but it was nice in a way that i had really good memories there. So today when i walked around the familiar paths around the college, it puts a smile on my face as i recalled all the things that we had experienced there. Time seemed to pass much slower as well. It feels good just to take deep breaths of fresh air, walked with wide open fields all around you.. liberated for awhile from internet and mobile phones and london. I love london though, its just it can be suffocating sometimes. Especially these past week had been really tiring both physically and mentally for me. So getting out of it all for a short while was really refreshing.

When i came back today, i realised that irma and hazwan had tidied up our flat, had dinner ready for me...and as i was sitting my bed,reading all the birthday cards and presents that i received the day before, again i was struck by how lucky i am to have such wonderful friends.

I love you all my dear friends, really sincerely do :)

Thankful for my lovely teammates!

A & B team captains !
Us with our 2nd place rossettes!
Teams!

Thanks to everyone helping out today! Our home competition today went really REALLY well!! we are now in 2nd place :) ! yays! (brunel..still...in 1st place..) but yeap, really happy and I love my teammates! everyone worked so well today, totally greatly appreciated all the B team people who came and helped out today. Thanks so much guys :) we wouldn't be able to make it without your help. Todd went surprisingly super well for me today in the dressage, even tho i was the last rider on him. I totally expected him to be tired and pissed off already..but amazingly our test out us in the lead after the dressage. Too bad when I jumped with Joe, we knocked down a fence..thus it made us dropped from the leading position. Oh well, but that's the joy of competing : ANYTHING can happen. Seriously, all of our jump horses went mental in the jump warm-up..Jigsaw very nearly bucked Harriet off!! Jigsaw! who's usually so sweet natured and calm..Trio was the one who looked like an angel today. Caffrey and Joe also acted up..I thinkwe had successfully scared other teams after the jump warm up xp..but thankfully they all went perfectly allright in the jumping afterwards. We were laughing like mad at how hilarious it was in the warmup..so funny. Then also Todd threw a 'todd moment' and nearly threw one of the brunel girls off hehee.. I cant believe i also forgot one movement in the dressage, but we must did super well bcos we were still in the lead after that.. hehe. But yeah, today was a long long day...super tired and exhausted, i nearly fell asleep at the pub afterwards.

It was well worth it..and again im so thankful to have such a great team to work with :)