Ahh i'm finally back home!!
havent got internet for the whole first week here due to my house just been renovated..finally today got the lovely internet back :) yay!
My house changed completely (of course cos it was knocked down and then built again duh*), i like my new room..got space for all my manga and books collection hehe
My dear friends are the same, how i love spending time with all of them again :) updating each other and gossiping of course. Met my horses too, spend four whole days at Indonesia Open 2007 and how i was itching to get on a horse and compete!! Went to visit my old riding school in Trijaya and SKJP too.. horsy people are the best! they stay the same too..met up with my horsy friends and my trainers too.. Kim and Chief are still fit and jumping as good as ever! Ferry and Steven did such great job riding them both and keeping them in shape. Kim got 2nd in120 cm open class and Chief got 1st in 110cm open. I realise both of them aged already now.. cant really push them too much.
Sometimes i think i'm able to change who I am, I tried once and ended up fretting and regretting it ever since. I know I was stupid before, and no matter what i do..turning back time is the one thing I really want to do but unable to sadly. If only I can go back to that day, almost two years ago now..Even though now i'm still unsure why my feelings seems to always turn back to that certain person again, but the truth is that i do regret what i did back then, a lot. I've changed a lot too, i wouldn't say for the better..but now I know to always, always be honest with myself. Not pretending. Not ignorant. Not taking anything for granted. Not lying. Ah.. regret always came a tad bit too late. but things happen for a reason, its just i realise this a bit too late. very fucking late actually.
I got no rights to do anything about it now, I tried to replace you and everytime it seems to work for awhile, then i realise that for now, i still cant. You are and always going to be that one in between, its tiring to pretend otherwise.
And this is for YOU, not you. I always got a soft spot for you, but maybe i'm cruel because i know im just happily enjoying your attention. but i know you know what i think, and you know i will be gone in a month and we will not see each other for another year at least.. so lets see where the wind blows and where we will end up :)
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