Rants

Sometimes i don't understand myself. At one point, everything seems so bright and good and exciting..and at another time, life seems so ..nothing. I dont know, when im busy with work and school and stuff..i longed to take sometime off, just to sit back and relax. Then when i finally got it, i cant seem to relax.. im just restless. I hate this restless state of me. I know there are things to do and sort out, but i cant get myself to be in the mood of doing it. Then at the end of the day, i just end up feeling miserable. I hate this kind of feeling. I feel like i should life each day with a purpose, otherwise its like a wasted time. but then a time well spent doing things you like, is not a wasted time, correct? hmm i just cant seem to understand myself lately. I went for a jog just now, it cheers me up a bit. But i dont knoww...i think i need to get out of london a bit. Feel kind of suffocated at some point..maybe. but maybe im just running away from things i have to deal with. I'm looking forward to go work later, cause i can just lost myself in work.. but then when i came home, i cant sleep.. i will be so so tired, but i just cant really sleep. Im confused with the state i am in now. and no matter what, in the end the only thing that left for you to face is the reality.