As everyone's life around me seems to be in so much drama these past weeks, my life in comparison feels pretty calm and ordered. I guess we sort of in the pause mode after all the drama last week. Actually after I think about it, its not a drama..its just something we should have done all those years back. What lydia said was correct, after I said all I wanted to say to him...it made me really accept the reality. The reality as for the current moment, sucks for me. but as I said before as well, I am a different person here and there. When I am here, you and those world we once shared..really do feels far away, distant. When I am back there, suddenly we both always fell back to that path where we always been since that time. We always do. Cant wait for December really. I'm not having my head up in the clouds anymore, cos I know daydreaming sucks when the harshness of reality is being put straight out in front of your face. For now, I'm contended :) I decided to stop looking for the answers, cos I knew when the time is right, then it will present itself.