Too long

My alcohol tolerance becomes so crap ever since my birthday
seriously
Never had this kind of after-effect that bad before
Had to admit it was damn bad during my bday as i cudnt remember a single thing
Today david and carina came over, and we had wine and smirnoff. I still seriously have to force myself to down even 2 glass of red wine. This is bad.. bad bad. Manage to gulp one shot of smirnoff and believe it or not i even ended up drinking milk after that.
This weekend again i did not do any proper work. Well, i did went into uni this morning to check on my aphids in lab and took some reading. Went for dimsum, coffee, and ended up in Joanne's place with david and carina.. then we all went back to my place where we kinda had desert first, noodles, back to desert and wine until almost midnight. A very enjoyable night in, great company, good food. chocolates. music :)
David is here for the summer so he's around, Carina also not so busy anymore so can go dinner often yays
and i am seriously in a very put off mode to do ANY work that is related to final year project
AT ALL
dunno why, just simply fed up. full stop.

Deer spotting in Tilehurst!!

Just came back from Reading for the weekend!
wheeee soo happy !!
got my much needed horse dosage thereee
Visited Nadia, stayed at her place and had fab dinner last nite
This morning went to ride her horses in Paul's yard, i rode Joanna. the grumpy, yet pretty and sweet jo, tats my impression of her. Took them out for a gallop in some fields, then go back and school them a bit in the flat.. then went to Cullinghood where we went for a 1 1/2 hr long ride/hack. It was a greatt hack!! cudnt believe how much fields they have around for us to gallop the horses!!
Me, stef and nadia were all on 3 different sized school horses..from a hairy exmoor pony to a big tb. but they all enjoyed the gallop !!
we even spotted two deers just literally maybe 10m away from us when they ran away as we were cantering towards them
wonderful
i wonder why the hell do i live in london hmm
Maybe i should just ship zinnie over from home, then live in the countryside to ride her all the time

Dream(s)

Yesterday afternoon's dream keeps me going :)
It's the kind of dream that wakes you up with a comfortable, snuggly feeling
and the weirdest part was that half of the dream become reality during the day
I've been met with more coincidences these past few days much more often than usual
Random act of kindness also put a smile on my face
I am looking forward every morning to that 'hello good morning' greeting from the homeless guy in front of natural history museum on sunny days
The smile of the receptionist lady
Hugs. tea. chocolate biscuits. spring breeze. :)

Penghapus

haduh kok susah banget yah menghilangkan satu orang ini dari pikiran gw..
baru2 ini perasaan sudah bebas dari loe
ehh tau2 hari ini gara2 dia melakukan satuu hal kecil yg gw minta, langsung terpikirkan lagi
halah
cape lama2
gimana yah cara menghilangkan loe dari pikiran gw?
ada ide kawan2..

Thanks

Was updating myself with the earthquake news just now
Realised how damn lucky we are to be here living peacefully in London
Me sipping tea and eating a warm, buttery, chocolate-filled croissant in my comfy pyjamas in my lovely flat, whilst tons of people are left homeless everywhere
Doesnt have to look far
In front of the Tesco below there's one homeless lady
I am a very lucky girl indeed

Feeling moody for no reason
maybe cos of the stupid weather
now it rains.and rains. and more rains.

plus this morning in lab it was damn damn quiet and creepy
like a ghost town :(
Called thia just now to moan haha.. and it works :)

'Cashier'

Had another proper girlie weekend again today :)!
haha so happy
and feel refreshed as well!!

the only downside, i think stupid pret cashier stole my money £10 becos im damn sure i give £20 note then he said onli gave £10. The manager counted his till but he's only -0.71p but im still 100 % sure that he did take my bloody £20!!!!!and no am not mistaken, becos thats the only cash i got in my wallet for the past three days so im fucking sure its £20 and NOT £10
okay consider it as charity trisna..deep breath
still not so happy :( :( :(

but beside that today is a good Saturday.
Riding-shopping-lunch-coffee with lovely companies :)

Gula melaka

Good dinner, great company :) great catching up with old friends
Found a new favourite desert now : gula melaka !
try the one in C&R
very nice!!!!

Tomorrow gonna be my farewell ride to Loki :( not too happy but oh well at least know that he's going to a better place to live in Dorset. Next to the beach. In an apaloosa farm, he'll have lots of girlfriends there lol.
Nadia is back here too yayyy. Going to go Reading and visit her next week!!! and do lots lots of ridinggg :)

I think final year project = full time job really
me in lab from 8am-6pm daily
with rare one or two odd days where i can leave earlier
Now i know when scientist says their life revolves around their experiment. Goodness, even your lunchtime is actually depending on your experiment as well. Very true. At least my supervisors give me complete freedom in designing my project. Too free actually, its becoming more like trial-and-error :P

Unigro

Long time havent blog :P
Finally today can get home before 7pm yay. Not too happy actually because of the stupid growth room failure so i lost one week worth of data taking *damn* now im stuck in a way that i really wanna get on to do work but cannot do anything because i have to wait until i have enough aphid culture, plus also bank holiday weekend. The main thing is that i can only run my sample on friday to stop it on tuesday (the way i plan my experiment is i start on mon-finish on fri, nah it screwed up COMPLETELY this week because of that growth room temperature that shoots up to 44C turning all my aphids to well..roasted aphids really. Me so so not happy now arrgh!)

At least my supervisors symphatesized :) Hopefully John wouldnt mind if i ask for more glucosinolates. Even tho am still eternally grateful that he even allow me to have that much in the first place, a teeny-tiny weeny bottle of it worth like £200 plus! same like enzyme also cost damn much..maybe i should be an enzyme-maker, hmm make lots money

Anyway, yay happies, today came back early then went for a run..then watch desperate hwsv wt irma. Love my dear flatmates :) can put smiles on my face after a super long day in lab!
And i now know how to bake egg tarts!!
gonna bake some next weekk and bring school for lunchess :)

In comparison

Final year projects so far quite crazy one
well me can consider myself quite lucky cos this week the main part of my experiment is only waiting for the nymphs to grow, remove the dead ones, count survival and make endless diet rings which are ok because now i get used to it, so can faster make them..
However, the rest or well...MOST bio ppl i see and bump around in saf always in lab until the late hours in the evenings.. came in damn early also.
I cant help but compare and start to feel a bit panicky when i think how come everyone seem so busy one whilst mine are quite slow.. because i have to wait for the aphids to lay nymphs!! duh.
Next week going to be busy for me, going to kill the nymphs and start doing lots of chromatography-related-stuff plus staining and microscopic thingy which i know will keep my hands full for the rest of the week.

On additional note, why do it takes me until the last term of my last year in Bio to actually start speaking to a hell lot more people in the course whom ive never spoken to for the past 2.5 years??!
better late than never they say
Well, exam revision period and projects, though stressful, seems to kind of 'bond' everyone together. Widen my social circle also.

I can feel aphids on my hair
i think
okay im completely aphidi-fied
now im getting expert already in how to scoop them up using the tiny tinyy paint brush!!

Getting back the missing me

Went riding this morning, yay :)
Strange, if I dont ride for a while it feels like I'm not completely me. So goodie, now the missing-me is complete again.
I was reminiscing whilst riding Loki this morning (since he will be gone very soon), been riding him for 1.5 years now. Pretty long. He reminds me a lot of this pony I used to ride years ago, called Boy. He's not mine, he belongs to the riding school where i used to ride back home. They are both bay, cheeky, mischievieous (mischief? sorry not sure how to spell), but both have the biggest heart and are honest to bits. I remembered with Boy, when we jump its literally like he can read my mind. The feel when we were in a jump off, with turning on the air and flew over one jump to another was unforgettable. He WILL jump anything you pointed him at. I used to lead him around, like a dog, my mum used to said. After riding, I will bathe him then lead him to the car park to where mum parked our car, gave him carrots, then lead him up again to the tack room..literally around the yard. He's not the most obedient pony so i can recall countless times when he decided to just bugger off and left me holding the lead rope, whilst he trotted away, free with his head held up high in the air, tail raised, looking all high and mighty. Loki is similar. He's not mean, but he CAN and WILL test you at the beginnings, and at times when you least expected it. but he's honest, and will give it all if you asked him to. The only bit is that he's quite a wimp actually lol, he hates having his feet get wet, and will stare with both ears pointed forward towards whatever thing coming our way during the hack.
Anyway, main point : glad to be riding this morning!!! now im in school waiting for my aphids to grow.. ... ..

A very hot Saturday afternoon

Wohoo
Had a proper girls day out today :)
Went dimsum then followed by hard-core shopping...literally. wanna die from the heat. Even though i didnt really find anything much except a top and a few bits and pieces. Poor Franklin was the only guy against us 4 girls, so he had to wait patiently outside whilst we spent ages in the shops :) :)
I couldnt believe they didnt have aircon in Topshop! and Mango! at least Zara got
so sooo warm....................
prefer the evenings when its a bit cooler
So dead tired, shopping IS an exercise.

Too much sun for once

Yesterday I was feeling damn lousy for no particular reason
Two people i met told me first thing that i was spreading negative vibes all over the place.. I even found it strange myself because usually Im a person who is so easily satisfied by small unimportant things, such as sunshine or mango ice tea, which i do know sounds random but its true
Someone even offered if i wanted company yesterday night to go out somewhere or not, quite touched :) because i know she doesnt really want to go out these days :) :)
Lovely friends i have, lucky aren't I
Manage to dished out the negative vibes in the end by my usual, never-fail-to-cheer-me-up-method-beside-horseriding : super long jog, followed by ice cold shower. The weather IS getting too HOT for my liking now really. It feels like the sun saps out all of your energy, giving that annoying lethargic feeling. Maybe winter should come back for a bit. Like maybe 1/2 a day or so?

My cousin is here for the weekend whoopee !!!
Today is going to be another dimsum day, shopping then going to watch Jap movie tonight (Death Note, the pic above yay!!) at Institute of Contemporary Arts :)

FYP : Day 1

My first day doing final year project can be perfectly described by TWO words :
1.exhausting
2.im more thankful than ever for the phD student and lab assistant!!!!!! whoever invented them are brilliant

reasons?
well, the fact that my lab(s) are spread over level 3,4,5 (thus involving me running up and down the stairs the lift then up again and down again then up again collect minerals down again collect aphids across to get my supervisor blablabla) and plus also the growth room near the basement in RCS. plus also my supervisor who seems kinda disorganised and forgetful, thus causing me to literally went from one group to another and one lab to another to hunt down the trace minerals i need to feed my precious aphids..
at least my OTHER supervisor is damn nice :) (and yes indeed i have two supervisors, a bit strange but yah nvm)
and once again, so so sooo thankful to sophie and eliana in which without them i think my aphid are going to encounter the unlucky faith of starving to death

Ditengah2 exam(lagi)

Gw bener2 tinggal di uni ... literally
parah amat sangat
ga pernah deh gw ngrasa dalam hidup ini gw pernah se-hardworking ini seumur2. sumpah gw aja ampe takjub2 ria ama diri gw sndiri deh akhir2 ini
well for the past 6 weeks sih sebenernya
kegiatan dan khidupan shari2 berkisar antara bangun pagi jem 6, cabut ke uni naek tube ato bus pertama dan nyampe lib pagi2 buta jam 7 (itu juga uda rame loh di lib)..trus lunch ama louisa miri nina, coffeebreaks, ampe makan malem lagi biasa ama simon ato louisa juga or siapa ajah yang masi stuck di library mpe jam sgituan trus pulang krumah uda jam 11-12 malem.
Jadi diitung2 shari gw blajar nonstop tuh ada kali yah slama 14-16 jam
hebat ga sih gw.. bener deh gile aja pas 1st ama 2nd year kmaren gw sudah mrasa kerja keras. tapi ga ada apa2nya deh dbanding 3rd year ini.
Seru juga sih scara kan gw slalu ke lib di level 2 dan duduk di tmp yang sama, jadi knal dgn orang2 skitar. trus kadang2 ada co yg cakep pula utk diliat kalo sedang ngantuk hahaha... dan yg paling bikin gw bisa produktif blajar di lib adalah : ga ada komputer! iyah bgt loh..
jadi skarang sy cmn nyalain laptop kalo pulang malem doank 1-2 jam :)
bangga deh ama diri gw sndiri

Senang d hari ini td bisa pergi dinner. dan yay senangg gw benar2 sudah bebas nihh. bebas dari apa yang gw mau lupain slama 2 taun trakhir. ahaha. sepertinya karena pengaruh blajar dan uni yang gila2an juga sih jadi yah tak ada waktu untuk mikirin. yes

Mid-exams

Two down. two more to go
and a final year project looming ahead
but ive worked hard and revise hard, so *fingerscrossed* no regrets hopefullyy

i really truly cannot work AT ALL at home anymore
just finished watching Desperate Housewives wt irma
then now randomly internet surfing..
.. .... ... so unproductive
i guess my brain deserve a bit of a break tonight
then tomorrow time to plow on through endless lecture notes again

I so gonna catch up wt people after exams! been super antisocial these days.
sorry ppl , promise i will soon go back to the real world after these all finish
and ya i never on msn/gmail chat again these days except for a few hours at night here which means its early morning for you back home..
and skype wise too
if im offline its not because i appear offline but because i really am offline x(
so drop me an email if you need to reach me :)

Adrenaline?

Library is officially my 2nd home
.. ...
we do eat lunch. nap. coffee break. dinner. nap. home..
and the best thing is that there are friends aroud :)
we keep each other sane and happy
just realising that we need some adrenaline kick to gear up for the soon-approaching-exam
still waiting though for it to kick in..
which strangely havent yet

oh trus gw seneng deh krn skarang uda bisa dgn resmi bilang kalo gw uda bisa merapikan perasaan dan hati gw :) ahahaha.. senang. jadi merasa bangga dengan diri saya sendiri. Akhirnya setelah skitar 2 taun. Merasa bebas seperti burung yang terbang diangkasa kali yah kalo mau diumpamain..blom ampe kya burung sih, krn sayapnya masi baru mulai tumbuh gitu. Tapi akhir kata, bebas !

The thing about library

Spring is here! :)
its hard not to smile when I was walking across Queens lawn to get to library today.. can feel the warmth of the sun on my face! when the weather is mild and warm, even the thought of exams doesnt really stress me :) :)

On another thought, i really think people DO live in library
These days, i go home at night...hordes of ppl just starting to come =_=
Library-ing these days i save my spot alrd..well bcos everyone does too. I started doing it two days ago after i realised every morning when i came, less and less and less free seats are around.. :( also this is random but i notice that people DO bring the strangest thing ever :
- a guy actually brought a small fan and plug it next to his laptop on level 4
- another brought a pillow to sit on
- then a small doll (not that unusual, seen a girl bring tiny teddy bear into exam room one day)
- stacks and stacks of humongous folder (these are quite common, it looks like they got their whole room transferred into library)
- kettle (ok me and louisa got this, and 2-3 other bio ppl in saf do also..now my locker is becoming more and more like a small pantry. Current contents : coffee sugar spoon tea/greentea/apple tea biscuit mugs oranges apples ..

also : people do really trust one another dont they. I came quite early every day, then at this same seat i always see this certain guy left his ipod-earphone just lay there on the table! and i know he's not around yet cos he usually came at 10-ish.. hmm

ahh three more days!
nervous. yet anxious to start.

Lost in.. ....

Do I REALLY look that approachable??
there were countless times when i was approached by people asking for directions, mostly tourists maybe. and not just around college (well, duh imperial is smack in the middle of three museums so there are tons of tourists there all the time of cos). No. but in really random places. I was out jogging quite far one day, still got approached by people asking for directions. Even in the tube. Out when i was just staring at the river. Over the bridge when i was walking. etc. Once even got really weird one, i was in out near wandsworth..near orient house back then, then got someone who asked me how can he walk to London Eye from there. Oh and twice i actually gave the wrong direction to someone.. xD not on purpose but honestly mistaken. I dont mind ppl asking me directions when I was jogging, because i knew the road names and places where i usually jog.
Hmm..
do i really look that approachable? or.. gullible (hope not)?
at least i know my road names MUCH better here in London. at home I was a hopeless case. I do drive around, but my road knowledge are very VERY limited. in extreme. I dont mind dropping/picking a friend home as long as they tell me how do i get back home from whichever area it is. Plus thanks God to my driver whom i completely relied on as I rang him everytime i got hopelessly lost. It happens. Often. *sigh*.

Fated to Love you

Highly recommended to watch : Fated to Love You !!
Carina, thia, sylvia and steph they all told me to watch this but then i was a a bit doubtful because havent really seen Ethan Ruan paired up wt Chen Xiao En before (even tho she is excellent in The Prince Who Turned Into Frog with Ming Dao).
but ya... seriously, this is GOOD!! *two thumbs up!*
sadly only out until ep5 so far...the raw ep is out every Monday but then eng sub wouldnt came out until thursday evenings
I wish i can understand mandarin!! argh.. i seriously considering to learn mandarin again now.. just like how i decided to learn english back then in order to be able to read more story books xD and Louisa told me she got the Ouran High School series complete but in mandarinn..aiyaa.. i havent been able to find that series ANYWHERE. sigh sigh..

Frauds

OoO..
Note to self and friends out there : pls do check your internet banking account routinely..
why?
mira told me someone used her debit card today without her knowing it :(
she was checking her internet banking acc then realised sth was odd cos there were some payments which she never made and was taken out of her acc..(she v rarely do shop online)
lucky only not much money..
called hsbc then they refund her money..and cancel her card
apparently its quite common now, most prob it happens when you withdraw money at some random cashmachine, then got something that can 'copy' your card..
so yah :
1. check bank statement carefully
2. dont randomly withdraw from cashmachines in dodgy-places

Just realised how reliant ive become to debit cards since ive been living in UK..

Heart cookies

Heart-cookies :) !! got my name xD
Irma made them for us
hehe..
Happiness !! Lift my slightly-stressed mood today as i can smell the freshly baked cookies when i entered our flat :) :)

I was having some kind of panic attack a few days ago..up to the point where my brain just felt like it couldnt take in any new information anymore. That day was quite bad, i literally went back, showered and slept straight away. Ok that sounds quite depressing.. =_=

Anyway, these past three days when i was feeling slightly down, there's always some unexpected small things that made me happy :) which made me feel loved!
Two days ago was unplanned nice dinner at oc wt meiting n alex :) :)
Yesterday was the green paper-clips, it was a small act of kindness which actually made me feel really quite touched :) :)
Today was cookies from irma and she also did my laundry :) :) and clean the kitchen (ok i know im easy to please as long as it concern household cleanliness and chores lol).

Dinner parties

I'm falling asleep in library ZzZzZ...

we have two more weeks exactly until the exams start, strangely i start to feel more relaxed! omg im so weird but it always happens to me. aiii... to be honest i havent completely covered every single thing, im still not super confident that i can do the exams well. but then again why am i feeling more and more relaxed closer to the exam days...

Oh yesterday i invited lilis and franky over for dinner. i like inviting ppl for dinner, and i think the impact had rub off on irma cos she suggested we invite over the guys for a meal after exams. yays!

i like dinner parties

and yesterday one was a blast :) !!!! plus i have the best flatmates ever :) !!

Just a horse? Nah i don't think so..

From time to time people tell me. “lighten up, it’s just a horse,” or,

“ that’s a lot of money for just a horse”.

They don’t understand the distance travelled, the time spent, or the cost involved for “just a horse”.

Some of my proudest moments have come about with “just a horse”.

Many hours have passed and my only company was “just a horse”, but I did not once feel slighted.

Some of my saddest moments have been brought about by “just a horse”, and in those days of darknest, the gentle touch of “just a horse” gave me comfort and reason to overcome the day.

If you, too, think it’s “just a horse”, then you will be probably understand phareses like “just a friend”, “just a sunrise”, or, “just a promise”.

“Just a horse” brings into my life the very essence of friendship, trust, and pure unbridled joy.

“Just a horse” brings out the compassion and patience that make me a better person.

Because of “just a horse” I will rise early, take long walks and look longingly to the future.

So for me and folks like me, it’s not “just a horse” but an embodiment of all the hopes and dreams of the future, the fond memories of the past, and the pure joy of the moment.

“Just a horse” brings out what’s good in me and diverts my thoughts away from myself and worries of the day.

I hope that someday they can understand that it’s not “just a horse” but the thing that gives me humanity and keeps me from being “just a woman”.

So next time you hear the phrase “just a horse”

just smile, because they “just” don’t understand.

Cidoal, the big teddy bear.

Cidoal just passed away this morning :*(

I was so shocked when Laras and mom told me. then immediately called putri and tasha..Can't imagine how putri must've felt. He was still perfectly healthy yesterday!

For us, a loss of our horse is like a loss of our own family member. You might find it strange but it is true.

They are the ones that grew up with us

Shared our happiness and joy, sadness and pain

for they always listen without saying a word

A tribute to Cidoal du Genetre. One of the most honest horse, the horse that will eat ANYTHING (his favourite was soya milk and fried rice. dont ask. but he loves it), will jump no matter how high the fences are or however tight the turns is. Its a loss of one of the best partnership in the showjumping world of him and Adi.

:( :( !!!

Sometimes tears are not too bad
and an ear on the other side
and a bar of Ritter sport marzipan chocolate
:)

Black bean dumplings

Okay im so feeling ill now..
dizzy head/runny nose/sneezing :( :(

but today I had a good 1/2 day break from the revising hell!! yay!!! Nadia came from Reading. We had super yummy dimsum (ever tried sweet black bean dumpling for desert?? try it!! it fabulous).. then went back to my place and swapped horsy gossips from Spore/Indo/asia-wise. wah ive been so out of touch in wat happening in horsy world back home!! many new and interesting gossip and politics lol xD
Cant wait to go visit her then go for long hack/ride there!

Blue sky

Iieeee.. initially wanted to post a photo of a sun-streaked blue sky which i took this afternoon but realised that it was quite crappy. Not as pretty as it looks like when i took it x( sometimes times like these i wished i have one of those big-huge 'proper' camera to make the image become like how i wanted them to be xp

Yikes im sleepyy but still wanna watch more series.. bad. i really shd go to sleep soon. I think i'm catching a cold as well, mira got headache.. aiks the whole house are falling sick nooo...I hate it when i keep on sneezing in library cos it was so quiet there. This week ive started living in library again, literally. Haii...been there morning-night everyday, lucky got louisa/miriam/baim around to disturb and go for lunch/coffeebreaks. Actually because of studying in lib also i met ppl i havent seen in awhile.. like yesterday bumped to alvin and swee lin, then keith, joyce, enrico, etc. Not bad. then i always aim to finish my 'revising portion' of the day in lib, so can go home and really relax..go jogging then cook and watch shows. :) :)

Hm i feel like calling home but i ran out of phone credit...havent call home for a while but today suddenly feel family-oriented, so decided to email home and send photos.

"If science cannot offer certainity, it can strive to offer objectivity"

nice saying, isn't..then what i wanna say in this post is actually unrelated to the saying above..

On another note, youtube is BANNED in indonesia..

seriously

i was chatting to dian this afternoon (she is in indo) and yep she did confirmed to me that yeap indeed our government has banned youtube :( (newslink : http://edition.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/asiapcf/04/08/indonesia.youtube/index.html)

wanna know why?

because of 'fitna the movie' was released in youtube..

if you are wanna see it.. search google or watch it in youtube (can only open it if you have youtube account). there are quite a lot of shocking images in the movie, but its a short only 6-minutes movie..so have a look if you are curious.

The mind of a student in 2008

3s says:
i wonder how people study back then when there was no internet..
3s says:
sorry random lol
Louisaaaaaaaa~ says:
LOL =0=''. . . . . .
Louisaaaaaaaa~ says:
i would imagine lots of hand copying will be needed. . . . if copying machine was still not available at the time =0=
Louisaaaaaaaa~ says:
i.e. i would die if i were born at those time = =

*Hail to whoever invented internet* ^_^ !!!

Snow (again) in spring

Woke up at 6am this morning. Watching the snowflakes fell outside my window... I STILL get excited by it :) no matter how many times i've seen snowfall before. but how come no one is awake yet to share my excitement?!

"It's time to surrender, there's no point in pretending. That's no use in trying when the pieces don't fit anymore. Still, I keep on trying. I don't know why, I can't explain" -The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore, James Morrison-

U ranch long time ago

this is not important but i cant recognise myself in this photo!.its in trijaya, the riding stable where i literally grew up..i rode there for about 10 years. This must be during one of the competition. omg this was taken SO LONG ago..alena just tagged me in this photo in fb. So so sooo long ago..such goood times SIGH i miss my horsie and my horsey friends :*( :*(

An encounter

This is the first time I've ever encountered a person like you. Interesting. The character is very very observant, yet what I like the most is how you can be strong-willed but at the same time lenient enough so people dont hate you, but instead you gain respect. In addition, you inspire me to appreciate originality.

Random..

but ya, interesting..

I always thought i'm an observant person

but you surpassed my expectations

which makes me even more curious

Backtracking

Oookaayy..re-reading my blog when im having study break is not a good idea. Especially since i got carried away and start to re-read all the emo entries. Bad, bad idea. Makes me emo and lose concentration and start thinking and re-thinking about things. Yikes.. :( summing up,why the hell did i wrote those entries back then??? at least the person involved did not read blogs. at least i think so. hopefully. ah whatever i dont care, correction, i still care but i just simply dont have the time to think more about it these days. Just wait until summer, as usualy, my summers are usually full of answers to the past year's summer and unanswered questions for the next year's summer.

Time and again

I feel like slowing my pace down when walking these days. I mean, like literally.. walk with slower pace. Wanna know why? becos I feel like I was being rushed everywhere, everytime. It doesn't help that London IS a fast-paced place. Slow down then you get carried away with the flow. It sucks isn't it, when sometime all I wanted to do is just to slow down a bit. Going to St Andrew makes me realise that I do miss the slower pace of living in Shrewsbury. It's strange isn't it, because I am a complete city girl. I was born and bred in Jakarta. For 16 years I lived in a city in which getting from one place to another can take as fast as 10 minutes with good traffic or as slow as 2 hours during the rush hour. It was a city which is not only fast, but also messy in every sense. Messy buildings, messy traffic, messy houses. Yet, I do not feel stressed.. well, I did of course sometime. but then again my school life back then was so relaxing.. good grades can be achieved with minimal amount of work. School was for socializing. For making friends. Playing basketball. Student organisations. School events. Basketball tournaments. Beside school, my other main activity was riding my horses. Riding lessons. Training camps. Overseas competitions. Hanging out with horsy people in horsy competitions. Spending weekends in the stable and weekdays in school. That's about it. yet..living amidst the heart of messy J-town did not feel as rushed as living in London. Its strange isn't. In addition, I have much more free time on my hands these past three years but then again I feel like I never have enough time. Ahh.. time, i really have to manipulate you and not the other way around.

Whee...i finally get back the bit of myself that's been lost after riding this morning ! :)
horse-deprived last week was not so good for my mental health and well-being

East Coast

In front of castle ruins in which somehow we just cudnt find the entrance even tho we see ppl inside..

Sandy beach!! and it was longg...stretched for 2miles or so..

This is interesting : the square-ish pool u see on the left hand side is a 'bathing pool' that was used by some reverends to swam and by public in the old days. and the rocky cliff on the right hand side is the 'witches cliff' where they used to kill the ppl who were suspected to be witches ...they throw them down the cliff and before that hanged them on the hill beside it..

Just came back from St Andrews :)

thanks david for letting us crash ur place for three days hehe..in return we cooked for you and you have enough food to last u for weeks i think. The train ride was surprisingly not as long as I expected, probably bcos we took the train with the fewest stops so it only took us abt 5 hrs to get there from Kings cross. The St Andrew town itself is really a uni town..its a bit like a huge boarding school with the halls and various departments scattered all around the town itself. The best part ? i LOVE the beach!! yeah in the years ive been here, yesterday was the very first time i came across a pure sandy beach in UK. it was niceee...and the wind was strong but it was sunny. How i envy david who told me he goes for runs along the beach x( well i got the river here but still...run along the beach! i want to. Ahh going out of London feels so SO good..see, after 2 yrs in concord i miss the city life so i went to london..now almost 3 yrs in london i start to miss the fields, the trees, the sheeps.. we, humans, are just never satisfied arent we ..hmm. Oh ya on additional note, finally im able to see st andrews becos ive been wanting to go there ever since i know prince william used to study there xp

oh well, good trip, excellent company :) im happy and yeah back to revision starting tomorrow !!

Back from a good run in a crisp cold morning at 7 today :)

and i like the plum-scented lotion thingy that mom gave me last time...

Feel very refreshed and ready to take on another day of revising !!

I miss my old best friends these days :( wish i'm back home now

Toby is travelling around Asia now, how envious x( i also wanna go home..summer come soon pretty please??

ps : pic above is from La tartine gourmande food blog http://www.latartinegourmande.com/ (she posted amazing food photos!).. i just really like the blue sky photo but somehow cant crop the picture of the chocolate-pecan teacakes next to it xp

Kalo uda mulai revise kaya gini, rasanya uda bener2 lupa tanggal hari dan jam deh. gw ama irma uda ber-hibernate mode gini, mana diluar dingin parah dan ujan mulu :(

at least weekend ini gw bkl k st andrew buat short break lah..tp jadi merasa guilty gitu kalo 3 hari ga revise sm skali. sbenernya ini juga revise sudah dlm panic mode yang rada2 on gitu gara2 gw nyadar kalo ada module yg bener2 masi gw ga bisa grasp bahan2nya..huhuhh. yah anyway ini last exam gw di uni, cepett bgt yah rasanya baru aja kmaren gw masuk jadi freshman taun pertama eh tau2 da mo lulus. Kadang2 sempet mikir kok kynya 3 taun di uni ...tapi tidak trll trasa ya..

halah..

sdg mellow nih. tadi br abis ntn talented mr ripley bareng mira.. (dan yeap untung ada mira yg masi sering menonton dvd kalo ga gw dan irma uda sgt stres krn revise mulu haha..). trus tadi bertambah mellow krn gw mendengar lagu2 mellow pas sambil bikin notes ttg my lovely insect-plants haha.. sudah smakin better sih skrg, gw uda ga se-moody bbrp wkt kmaren. tapi yah tetep aja ada setback mode kadang2. aa..cepetan pgn slese exam.. !

White easter Sunday

It's snowing right now outside my window!!
heavy, pure white snow falls
!!!!
so excited! havent seen proper snow in a long time since concord!!! sadly all my flatmates are still asleep now, so the only person i can share my excitement is Silvia on msn just now
but yeah, snow!
in easter and heavy as well!!
wah..

(Last) spring break

What a freakishly shitty weather London has these days
sigh
Revision mode : ON
Hibernating : tick
Comfort food : tick
Riding : tick

5 weeks of revision
with visiting David in St Andrew and going to Paignton with Louisa in between
then FYP..my activities are mapped out for the next 12 weeks x(
...and what a random post this is..

Cold Monday afternoon

It was so so so so COLD today!

No mood to stay in uni anymore so i decided to go home and skip whatever class is left in the afternoon (which is nothing much).Opened facebook then saw that daryll commented on these photos (above), the snowy one just FITS the cold day today so i just have to put it up (kuambil dr fb mu ya tii hehe tenkyu sayy) and the first one on top is just our end of 6.2 dinner, in which daryll also commented then i feel nostalgic, so again i have to post it xp

Kangen komik

Sunday passed damn fast.

I woke up early today and yesterday, so my day feels longer lol

Waking up early is good, because then i feel like i'm not wasting time

I guess i'm a morning person as always, even though i did try to switch to sleep late and wake up late mode a few times, but mornings are preferred in comparison to late-nights.

Revising bits and pieces done, but still not 100 % revision mode yet. Been skype-ing like mad these days, talking random things and just now me and Thia realised that we talked more compared to couples do! arghh.... i should have never re-downloaded skype on my comp!! I know i deleted it for a reason sigh

Now been watching anime, im giving taiwanese dramas a rest for a while cos if the storyline got depressing, then i got depressed too. Missing my manga collections...

Choosily choosing choices

I thrived on choices
literally, in all aspects of life...
I choose to have choices
It's not always a good thing as now I have come to realise
aarghhhh

Finally today i can get a day off
a much needed one indeed as the past week been so hectic i hardly had any time left for sleep..

Stop

Omg i just want to die...so so many things to do but got no time *sigh

ive been doing 9-5 lectures/lab every single day.. then got indonesian night rehearsals like 3 times a week now (in which this past two days we stayed in LSE until 10-11pm ish..and today i left home at 8am morning, got back home briefly from 6-8pm.. went to LSE and didnt come home until 12pm! aaa...)

24 hours is SO not enough

i still got lab reports, have to start revising for finals, have to email final year project supervisor

at least i finish all my postgrad applications already

tired! and i cant actually sleep yet even tho im tired but a thousand things still run through my mind, its like im mentally making checklists of things needed to be done, notes to be made, journals to be printed etc etc

and London is damn damn cooolllddd today

actually this is a very random post, sorry

just got to the point when i asked irma today :

'why can't we simply just EXIST ?'

wouldnt it be wonderful if we can just simply LIVE life

no need to worry about school, work, family, money, future etc

These days, we have endless targets to chase, things to accomplish, places to visit..

We did A levels to aim for grades so we can be accepted into a good university, we got the grades and enroll in the university we want.. but do we stop there? No, now we want to get 1st class degree, so we work our butt off to get our degree....three years later we got our degree..but do we stop there? No, now we want to get our 'dream' job...so we fill and send endless application forms, wrote endless personal statements and went to endless assesment centres and interviews.....finally we got a job, but do we stop there? No, now we want to built up savings... after a few years working, we finally saved up enough to buy a house, buy a car, a horse and invest some of the money for little luxuries.. but do we stop there? No, now we want to settle down with a family...so we hunt for 'the one'...finally we found him/her, got married, got kids...but do we stop there? hmm at this point maybe some people will actuially STOP there, but i have a sinking feeling that No, now we want more and more and more and more things... .... when will we actually STOP ?

Barley tea

Muscles are blisfully aching from basketball just now :) (even though i feel like i was dying during practice.. i'm extremely unfit! sometimes i feel bad at my teammates cos they keep running and i was like, no i'll stay half the court cos i seriously cant run anymore :( and no riding does not make me fitter, due to muscle habituation after years of doing it continuously, seriously riding did not tire me that much at all these days, but if i go home, my trainer really know how to make me dying by asking me to ride at least 3 horses straight for proper flat lessons, not that i complain lol)

...then stomach full from dinner at OC, crispy roast pork yumm :)

going to read more about my very interesting horsy topic for my essay, make a nice cup of barley tea.. then going to have an early night in today..

Happiness! i feel content.. a good Saturday indeed

Dragon or others

Sleepy..zzzzzzzzzzzz

falling asleep on my problem sheets..

sometime i work so slow, but i prefer to work slow as long as i actually understand what im doing. but seriously the so-called-dry-lab today really took a LOT out of me, its not physically taxing but you know that feeling when you work hard then finish, then its a bit like brain dead feeling. argh. i realised im not very smart, but then again its back to the old saying abt either being the head of the dragon or the tail. i gues im near the tail, but the even though its the tail, being the dragon itself is already above average right.

Was stuck in a moment of panic attack just now when i realise that exams are NOT far away and this is bloody 3rd year in which it will count 65 % towards my final degree!! aaaa....

then manage to calm myself down by doing laundry (switching to my Monica-from-friends-mode)

And on another note, im pretty proud of myself ! the reason ? 26 days!

H-7

Cool, right?

H-7 until Indonesian Night :) !!

this is what i've been doing these days, don't ask how my genetics write-up and problem sheets are going :( but happy!! today we finally got the chance to practice in old theatre together with the drama and Bruneian dance people. Can't wait until next week!!

Thursday 6th of March : Indonesian Cultural Night in LSE

come people !!!!

People-watching : a habit that every commuters pick up to kill time
I can actually say quite proudly that i'm able to pick out which clothes came from which shop (most of the time when my shopping mode is : on).

I want to eat dimsum...

Mika – Happy Ending

This is the way you left me,I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life
Can't get no love without sacrifice
If anything should happen, I guess I wish you well
A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell
This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more

Listening to this song used to make me feel sad, but i've listened to it again recently and it doesn't make me feel sad anymore. Yay :) (pic above taken frm a fajr's fs page tx!)

Self-contentment

I've never felt stronger before. These days my self-esteem are very good i think. Hehe.. and no this doesn't mean i'm free from all the stress of being a final year biologist, it just simply means that, hmm how do i put this into words? That I can feel myself changing, bit by bit, towards a more realistic me, more.. mature? no, not mature. Its not exactly confidence either, its just a feeling when you feel satisfied with yourself and happy being who you are. Knowing your faults, brave to face your problems and loving yourself a lot more than you used to be. Like someone said to me before, we create problems in our mind and it all just depends on your perspectives. Hmmh... feel sooo good these days :)

It is a well-known fact that when i blog often it means one of these three things :

i'm stressed

i'm bored

i'm exuberantly happy

I wish the number 3 will be the most often reasons, however today i'm blogging due to reason number 1. FINALLY today i can get home before 8 pm! such a relief. Our presentation was pretty crap today, but at least I had a really good long longgg jog just now to clear up my muddled up thoughts. And i went back and cleaned my room/.bathroom, switching to my clean-freak self is another thing i usually do when i'm feeling kind of brain -dead. like now.

Eat and Two Veg

Eat and Two Veg

a vegetarian restaurant located on Marylebone High St :)

Had lunch there with Wilson and Jac today, nice schnitzel! pork but not pork..i think i havent eaten non-asian food for at least a month. And I discovered that Marylebone is a pretty, quaint area, and walking there this afternoon really lifted my mood up.

Been in school since yesterday, then again today..sigh the after-effect of procrastinating is NOT fun. Totally underestimated the amount of work we had to do :(

Food for thought(?)

I've eaten three expired food products for my dinnner today. Amazing.

Usually i'm one of those people who will finish all their food in the fridge waayyy before the expiration date, however these past week i've been busy as hell thus hardly had any chance to gobble down the remaining food in my fridge.

What i've just eaten : mushroom, bacon and hazelnut yogurt (the mushroom and bacon were cooked with pasta, of course, not eaten with the hazelnut yogurt).

And our third dance rehearsal in LSE was getting better tonite. yay! but still the saman dance from PPI Prancis was amazing really, go watch in youtube as 'tari saman PPI Perancis' and thats what we're attempting to do (well progressing more likely).

Loved

I just said this in my blog post a few days ago, but am gonna say it again :

I feel so loved :)

happy.. seriously. I just went back from a belated-birthday dinner with Louisa and Simon in Mangosteen. Good food, great company. What more can I say. I feel truly blessed indeed :) thank you (again) dear friends, all of you had really made me feel extra-special and very much loved during my birthday this year *hugs and lots of kisses* !!

From the pre-birthday chocolates sent from my cousin in Brighton, midnight celebration with Irma and Mira at our lovely flat, Loki's company in the morning (yes he does count even tho he is a horse), lunch with Carina plus the cake surprise, shopping spree with Irma and Silvia in the afternoon, then the surprise gathering at night (thanks to manda & nti who've ran literally to wongkei and frantic-candle-searching xp, yan who came all the way even tho she was ill, and silv and irma...hugss super big hugs for you guys!), ended with drinking too much with Irma all night lol. Yummy dimsum lunch wt ninghn, mt, lex, wilson ...cant believe this IS our last year in bio :), then finally the last one is dinner today wt simon and louisa.

Love u to bits everyone!!!!!

My timetable for the rest of this week

Okay, sleeping for 11 hours straight last night was probably not such a good idea after all. It left me feeling lethargic throughout the whole day today actually. And I've been in school from 8.30-5 pm now.. Wanna go home but have to go to LSE for rehearsal. Arghh why do I let Silvia talk me into participating (again) in Indo nite this yearr.... at least we're doing the Saman dance in which i dont mind doing cos we dont have to wear kebaya (i cant fit into mine anymore, the last time i wore it was like in 1st year concord...when i was still thin enough haha..but seriously it doesnt fit me anymore sigh). Anyway, panic mode will be on very VERY soon because me and louisa is still in 0 % in doing our NGF project !!!

damnn...

argh............................

then tomorrow all day competing in UCL.. bday dinner at night with simon and louisa

then thursday gonna watch lion king..

then friday another rehearsal in LSE

then saturday riding and basketball and cny dimsum

omg when the hell will i find time to do proper work!!

panic mode : ON

Small little world

I guess as you get older, the more often it is to cross paths with people who know each other. Strange, what a small little world we live in. Isn't it ?

I feel loved :) :) ! Thanks again for everyone for the birthday wishes, wish I could name you one by one but then you all know who you are. Love you all to bits, and to some, miss you guys so much as well !! and I need to sleep, some serious long, dreamless, sleep.. much needed indeed. Dunno how I was coping these three days with just 3-4 hours sleep per night. I need my beauty sleep hehe..

Catch 22

22 today!!

on 2 feb :)

okay i might write something really stupid here but blame it on the wine-champagne-and chocolates lol. Overall had a very VERY enjoyable birthday today :) one of the best ever. Started with champagne and chocs at 12 midnite on 1 feb with irma and mira..slept at 3 am then actually (im proud of myself for actually waking up!) go ride Loki in the morning by 6am tube. Rode him in flat went superb, he did counter-canter damn well now... still got some over-excitement in doing flying changes though. It was FREEZING this morning!!!! what with the temperature around 0-1 C and i wear three layers of clothings doesnt help. Then went home, lunch with Carina in Arang. This nice small korean restaurant in Picc circ....got another bday cake there. Shopping spree wt irma and sil, went home and found Manda and Artati hiding in the kitchen (hehee tx guys seriously i thot ure all gg join us in clubbing which didnt happen in the end xp xp). Then got my 3rd bday cake :) :)

thanksss everyone!! cant act mention ur name one by one but yah..thanks a hell lot! today was one of the best birthdays i've ever had :) !!

*hugs and kisses!!!*

Billy Elliot the Musical

Teacher :

"Billy, how does it feels like when you are dancing ?"

Billy :

" I can't really explain it

I haven't got the words

It's a feeling that you can't control

I suppose it's like forgetting, losing who you are

And at the same time, something makes you whole"

'Electricity' from Billy Elliot the Musical :)

One of the best musical i've ever seen. Big hugs to irma and mira who had convince me to go and watch, since i'm always been a bit apprehensive to watch a musical due to previous experience when I fell asleep during Phantom of the Opera. And don't stare at me in shock, because for you all Phantom might be one of the best musical out there, but i'm just not too musical i guess..however I do enjoy Mamma Mia because the songs are very lively/pop-ish (and I love Abba songs). Anyway, that lyrics Billy sang above just really struck me, one word : horse riding.

Anyway, i'm gonna be 22 in about two hours!!

and i've got tomorrow nicely fully booked hehee...strangely, i don't feel that excited turning 22. I just feel..nothing. I even almost forgot that my bday is this weekend if not me checking the timetable last week to check when my essay was due.

I'm turning 22 on the 2nd day of the 2nd month and i live in flat 222 (ignore this end bit).

i love 2's !